As you can probably gather from the title of this post, I’m writing about some struggles that I’m going through. Not sure how to deal with all of them, but for now writing about them seems like a good idea (and hopefully I’ll able to look back on this post, laugh and realize how pity these things were).

Generally speaking, I’d like to consider myself a content person. I grew up in a great family but we weren’t kids who had everything and the things we did have, we usually had to work for. That, and my parents always taught us that we should be “content in all things,” which I’m sure has played a large role into who I am today.

But when does contentment become complacency? Where’s the shift from being OK where I am (because I don’t “need” more) become a downfall where I should’ve gone for more? Can I be both content and ambitious simultaneously? Do the two even mix … at all?

“My mistakes are running through my mind
And I’ll relive my days, in the middle of the night
When I wrestle with my pain, struggle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry” ~ Sanctus Real

Those are some of the thoughts that I’ve been thinking over the past few months. You know when people say “get your head on straight” or something of that nature? Yeah, honestly I feel sometimes that my head is on too straight. Is that possible?! When people say they’re “living the dream,” what does that really mean?!

I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m struggling to be content vs. complacent with. Well, glad you asked. Almost everything. Right now, I’m comfortable saying “I’m good” with where I am in life. But I also thought that five years ago, and today I look back and have some regrets about things I did and didn’t do, people I met or didn’t meet, places I went or didn’t go. A few specific examples … Work is great but am I on the path to reach my best potential? Life is great but if I stay the way I am, in 10 years will I just be the exact same “me” but only a 35-year-old version of myself? Friends are great, but am I just everyone else’s mutual friend?

I understand (maybe too well) that things don’t fall from the sky into my lap, money definitely does not grow on trees, opportunities don’t knock at the door, and relationships don’t suddenly begin; but if I don’t try harder on my own, will anything ever be different? Or better?

This year, I really am trying to reach for the bigger things, the better opportunities, my greater potential, etc. I guess I’m just trying to figure out how to balance it all.

This post probably sounds Eeyore-like post, which I don’t intend it to be, but these are real (honest) thoughts that have been plaguing my mind. I don’t even know where I’m really going with this, except to say here is one of many posts to come that are a bit more on the honest reality side of things.

Do you struggle with being content? How about becoming complacent? What do you do to balance the two?

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